Times are tough all over

It seems like a daily occurrence now. I open the paper to see another story of people who have fallen on hard times. Maybe it's people struggling to make their mortgage payment. Maybe it's a single mother trying to decide whether to pay the electric bill or put food on the table. Perhaps a young family that cannot afford all the medical care that they need. Or maybe, like today, it's a story of the most drastic cutbacks of all- the very richest are being forced to cut back on gifts and allowances that they give to their mistresses.

Fully 82% of men in the study said they planned to lower the allowances to their mistresses, while more than three quarters planned to provide fewer gifts, less expensive gifts and fewer perks, like jet rides, resort vacations and top restaurant meals.

Yes, it truly is a dark day in America when 80% of multi-millionaires are forced to cutback in this way. 80%!! We need a bailout for extra-marital lovers!! They're vital to the luxury goods portion of economy. Just think about how many people are employed by the resort vacation industry, top restaurants, jewelry sales, not to mention all the aviation jobs provided by all those private jet-rides. Congress better act- and soon! I suggest a modest bailout- perhaps $25 billion? Just enough to get them through the current crisis, without encouraging any moral hazards or windfall profits. Let it never be said in these great United States of America that we failed, during our darkest hours, to take care of those that matter the most!