Proceed with Caution! | God Hates Crustaceans
Lobsters, crabs, crayfish, prawns … seafood lovers everywhere relish the mention of such culinary delights. But there’s much more to know about these shellfish than simply how tastily they can be served up on a plate. You need to be aware that that tasty morsel you'd love to eat will cause you to burn in hell for all eternity.
Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.
Satan Lurks in Seafood Restaurants! Satan, through his demonic ally Neptune, has placed these tempting abominations in nearly every body of water on this planet, including both fresh and salt waters.
In addition, as part of his evil plan to confuse and overcome the righteous, he has also placed in various locations around the planet what appear to be ancient fossils of Crustacean-like appearance. Some seem to be over 6,000 years old, according to so-called Scientists.
DO NOT BE FOOLED BY SATAN!
Certain cities have become associated with some of these forbidden foods.
In the USA, the city of New Orleans was smote with hurricane Katrina because of all the seafood restaurants that specialize in tempting the faithful with spicy, tasty, delicious shellfish. God has rendered judgement on creole cuisine.
If I lived in Maryland I'd be very careful about where I go to eat.
The entire state of Maine has been given over to the Red Lobster Conspiracy.
San Francisco may be completely a lost cause, as there are seafood restaurants in almost every neighborhood.
Many thought that the great tsunami of December 26, 2004 was a natural disaster. In fact it was God purging the shorelines of abominations such as lobster traps and clam infestations.
Help protect America from the wrath of God, take your whole family and your lawyers with you, and picket the funeral of a dead lobsterman today!